I just want to know:
Does anyone out there have it all figured out???
I am lost. I don't want to be. But I am. For each and every moment of the day, there are more things that I could do-should do-want to do than I have time for. And I can't figure out which ones to do. And 40 is staring me in the face and people 10 years younger than I am have already made their mark on the world and and and...!
So I go to Michaels and buy one more idea book or some more craft supplies.
Ugh.
I want to be a good mom. I want to be a good wife. I want to be a good friend. I want to be a good housekeeper, cook, laundress (is that a word?), knitter, daughter, sister, aunt, writer, blogger, room mom, reader, book reviewer, God-lover, de-clutterer, dresser, artist, scrapbooker, athlete, employee...
Is that too much to ask?
I have a feeling it is. So what has to go?
I hear you sister! I'm creeping towards the big 4-0 and wondering .. where did the time go? what have I done with my life?
Then I remember ...
I have many wonderful people in my life who I love & who loves me. What more can I ask for?
Posted by: ~Kristie | October 18, 2006 at 07:45 PM
I certainly do not have it all figured out either - so don't worry! You're not the only one, and you are certainly NOT alone! I wish I knew also.... hmmph...
Posted by: Robyn | October 19, 2006 at 12:56 AM
Amen....I so feel your pain...it's the same stuff that goes on in my head day in and day out! Phew, we have so much self-imposed pressure, don't we? The truth is, we are fabulous just the way we are girlfriend. Let's embrace it. :)
Posted by: maria | October 19, 2006 at 12:24 PM
I don't think anyTHING has to go. I thing the attitude has to go. The attitude that you have to BE PERFECT at all those things. YOU DON'T. Those are all INGREDIANTS that, in sum, make up YOU. No one thing is the deciding factor on who you are, just like flour isn't all that is needed for cake. Eggs aren't all that is needed. Sugar, not all. They each have their small part to play to make the cake, just like each of those things has its small part to play to make you. You wouldn't want ot be 100% defined as any of those individual things would you? You don't want to be ONLY a mom. ONLY a wife, or a housekeeper or cook or laundress, or artist, or writer. You are a conglomeration of all those things, each in their own amounts, that makes YOU, you. (Just realized I was sounding harsh, not meaning to.) Just trying to say to cut yourself some slack, kiddo, and accept that "no one makes you feel inferior without your consent" (to paraphrase, I think, Elenor Roosevelt) and that includes your own self mkaing your own self feel inferior. You aren't.
xo, t
Posted by: tonya | October 19, 2006 at 03:32 PM
I hear ya...I have my own list of to do's, to be's and the to never's. I have found that just doing and being and never giving up will bring us the satisfaction of a life worth living. No way do any of us have all the answers but think of the alternative -- without all of the opportunities to grow as a person in each and every role -- we would be very bored and without a lot to do. As long as we remember that even without all of the busy "stuff", we are still enough, we will remain balanced and certain that tomorrow is yet another day to accomplish bigger and better things or just send everyone away for a few hours and nap until our hearts content. Love it!
Posted by: DragonFLY | October 19, 2006 at 05:27 PM
Hi Laine! My PC has been down for a while..and I have missed your posts! Trust me..4 0 staring you in the face .... ain't nuthin' like 55 staring you between the eyes with a full round of ,,.. What have you done with your life?????? What ARE you gonna do with the incredibly small amount of time you now have left with your life......Laine..I think you have done A LOT, Already!~way more than most of the 40 somethings!!!!! You already are a more than "good" mom. knitter, housekeeper and all the other coolness! Trust me on that!
Posted by: pam aries | October 19, 2006 at 07:58 PM
Hey Lain. I think it's because some of us have an inner drive, that's what's causing this feeling in you. It's a good and bad thing....you want to constantly be and do more and become more and it's an ever-evolving thing. So, the problem is when you can never 'get there' despite always moving ahead and toward your goals. I am still learning and striving and hoping and dreaming, and realizing that I am an on-going project- just being me. I think the main thing I am learning is that I'm not calling all the shots. I have accepted and turned my life over to the ultimate Life Sculptor- God. SO, as long as I am allowing Him to shape and mold me, all the things I do and attempt in life are part of the process. Maybe that gives you something to chew on. Good thoughts...I think lots of artsy-craftsy types all feel the same way. God has us wired just a little differently than some. =) Have a great weekend!
Posted by: Jody | October 20, 2006 at 09:20 AM
Wow! I do the same exact thing as you (worrying then going to Michaels and buying something) What has to go? Definitely the laundry and housecleaning!
Posted by: jen b | October 20, 2006 at 06:59 PM
I so empathise with what you are saying - I had my big 4-0 a couple of years ago and in the end had a party, which made the whole thing feel better. But I feel exactly the same about trying to do everything well and feeling that nothing I do is good enough. But, loads of us feel the same and you do a great job at everything from what I see. I figure that as long as you try your best that is good enough. Take time to savour the good things...
Posted by: Ingrid | October 22, 2006 at 10:52 AM
i think everyone feels they haven't done as much as they SHOULD.
'should' is a word that's the enemy. it takes our confidence away.
today, do one thing well. just one.
Posted by: kristen | October 22, 2006 at 11:46 AM
Oh Lainie!
Kristie said it all above, I think she has figured it out. I keep coming back to it, relationships and the people in your life: that is what life is all about. Just surrender to it all and stop struggeling. Jody said that so well, too. You can't push the river to flow a certain way ;-)
You will be amazed of the peace you will feel when you surrender. All I know is that in the end of the day your family is all and everything and the only thing that really! matters.
xxxoxoxoox
Posted by: tine | October 22, 2006 at 01:02 PM
Here's the thing...make it the best you can. Make a killer mac n' cheese or chocolate chip cookie & it really doesn't matter if you can cook anything else, or if your laundry's piled up on your bed waiting...still ;) Oh, and that one day that your hair obeys??? Go EVERYWHERE girl! *grin*
Posted by: Bren | October 23, 2006 at 01:52 PM
house keeping can go....:) I've let mine go! LOL
Posted by: moki | November 03, 2006 at 12:27 PM