(Long, but worth it!)
I have been mulling over the concept of motherhood lately. Partly because I've been writing more on the topic of parenting (specifically for Parenting Squad). Partly because I seem to be surrounded by people having their fourth, fifth, or ninth (!!) babies. Partly because in the past six weeks as I made some significant changes in my professional life, I realize that my role right now is primarily that of "Mommy."
image from Rubbermaid Products
Now, we all know those moms who seem built for parenthood. They are so darned maternal, you can't imagine them NOT being a parent (Wendy Smedley is one of these women). They are gifted in a way that makes them sink into the role of mother like someone falling into a huge, squishy feather bed. It envelops them and fits them so comfortably that you can't separate the person from the role.
I am not one of these people. As I wrote in the journaling on a recent layout, I wasn't one of those little girls who longs to be a mommy. I wasn't even sure I would EVER be a mom. But as time passed and I met my husband, my heart changed and I knew that I wanted to have kids.
And when I sensed the gap between the way I am as a parent and the way these Natural Born Mothers are, I felt very inadequate. I would never have the cooler full of snacks and ice packs and popsicles at the park. I sometimes resented the fact that my body has changed in irretrievable ways with each pregnancy. I quit breastfeeding after 3 months with my oldest, 6 months with my second, and 9 months with my third. And I was happy to do it!
So when I started thinking about the art of motherhood, I thought it didn't include me. Sure, I'm a good mom. Some people even tell me I'm a great mom. But an artist as a mother? Nah. Not me.
Then I read marketing genius Seth Godin's latest best-selling book, Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?
In it, he exhorts every worker to be an artist in his or her own work world. He says that only by claiming our internal artist can we create a remarkable career and a remarkable world.
At first, the idea of an artist as a burger-flipper seems a little oxymoronic. But Godin goes on to say that when we add our own personality and devotion to a task, that's when we raise it from simple action to art. "Art," he writes, "is the intentional act of using your humanity to create a change in another person."
Aha! I got it! Suddenly, I realized that I am an artist, every time I do something not for the end reward, but for the joy of giving, for the sweetness of sharing, for personal pride and for the simple goal of making my world a little more colorful, a little brighter, a little more fun.
The great thing about Godin's concept is that it's something anyone can do, based on their own personality and desires. It applies to each and every one of us, right now, right where we are, whatever we spend our days doing. It's not prescriptive; in fact, he is very clear on the fact that he can't give readers an "A, B, C" plan for becoming an artist, as that would defeat the purpose.
As I thought about how his definition of art related to my role as a mom, I realized that I am a practitioner of the art of motherhood -- and anyone can do it, too. And while I can't give you each a path to art anymore than Godin can give a marketer the key to becoming a remarkable hawker of widgets. But I can provide some examples of what other moms are doing as artists, and maybe you'll find some inspiration here.
You're an artist mom when you go above and beyond in your role as parent, going beyond the basics and offering a piece of your soul in your parenting You're an artist mom when:
1. ...you make the hard choices. When I thought about this one, Jo-Lynne immediately came to mind. She's documented her journey to re-create the food choices she makes for her family. She does tons of research, goes out of her way to locate the best food, and spends hours testing new recipes. I have never once read a complaint from her that it's too hard or not worth it. She just does it. She inspires me with her dedication to giving her family her best.
2. ...you make your kids feel special. Noel is the one who popped into my brain. She is the mom to two adorable girls, and you should just check out some of the ways she incorporates her creativity into their lives. Take a gander at the cupcakes she made for her daughter's birthday. This is everyday stuff to Ms. Noel. Oh, did I mention that her husband is deployed overseas and she's a single mom, military-style? Again, never heard a word of negativity out of this woman's mouth. She inspires me with her creativity and positive attitude.
3. ...you do the stuff no one notices. This makes me think of Kim and Mary Beth, who I mentioned her the other day. They organize their closets, paint walls, create banners, make nature tables... all stuff that will be part and parcel of their kids' lives, stuff the kids won't even know is special until one day, their kids grow up and have families of their own, and think, "OH MY GOSH, my mom gave us so much of herself!"
image from apdk
4. ...you make them laugh. This is the area where I excel. I do all right on the other notes, and certainly aspire to do better, this is one area I feel very comfortable. In fact, early on in my time as a mom, I thought about how I wanted my kids to remember me. I wanted them to say, "She was so much fun!" So that's what I try to remember every single day as I consciously look for ways to make them laugh and for us to enjoy life more.
image from seyed mostafa zayani
5. ...you give part of you. Anyone reading this blog who's a mom has done this, I know. I want to remind you to appreciate what you do offer your kids, and stop comparing yourself to everyone else. What is in your heart that you can provide? I honestly believe that you're put with your kids for a specific reason, and that God chose YOU and only you to be the mom in this particular family, to these particular kids. You are not replaceable. You are unique. You are indispensable. You are an artist!
