image from Di the Huntress
Callie's preschool is housed in the basement of the church, and in the church's garden is a stone labyrinth. Every day as we walk to school, we pass by this labyrinth -- it's hard to miss, as it's about 30 feet across! And every day, Callie asks if we can "do the maze."
And every morning, I say "No."
It's not that I don't want to "do the maze." It's not even that we're that rushed. It's simply that I've always wanted to walk the labyrinth, and I've always wanted it to be life-changing, special, transformative. And how could that possibly happen with a chatty five-year-old at my side?
But today, when Callie said, "Mama, can we do the maze?" I said no. Then I said yes.
I don't know what shifted, or why. But out of the blue I realized that I can keep saying "No" forever, in search of the perfect, the ideal, the fairy tale. Or I can say "Yes" and grab and enjoy what's right in front of me, right now.
So we started out. "Follow the white," I told her, and she walked behind me, chanting. "Follow the white! Follow the white! Follow the white!"
The labyrinth is supposed to be an exercise in mindfulness, so I decided to tune in to what was happening right now, to the little traveler behind me, the sun shining down for the first time in what seems like months, the roughness of the stones. I especially tuned in to what she was saying. "Oh, we're getting close!" she said as we took a turn to the center. "Oh, no we aren't," she said in the same happy voice as we moved back toward the edge. "Follow the white! Follow the white!"
The labyrinth is a metaphor for life, for personal development, for seeking truth. It twists and turns and as you get closer, paradoxically, you're getting farther away, until at the last turn when you think you're headed right back to the beginning again, suddenly you're there. You're in the middle, and you can do a little bum-wiggling dance because you've made it.
Today, by being mindful and saying "Yes," I got the gift of seeing this journey through my daughter's eyes. Was it the candlelit, meditative, slow walk that I had dreamed of? No, most certainly not. Was it a more accurate view of what my personal journey is like? Oh yeah, for sure. Because my days are not filled with solitude and peace -- my days are chaotic and crumpled at the edges with cracker crumbs and smudges from tiny, dirty hands. That's where I am, right now. And by saying "Yes" to taking that walk today, I said "Yes" to my life, just as it is -- not as I think it should be.
Note: This is part of the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Post challenge!
This is beautiful post. When we take the time to experience something for the first time through a child's eyes, it can be the first time for us as well.
Mike
http://www.directyourcareer.com
Posted by: Mike Anderson | 03/08/2010 at 12:41 PM
Wow, Lain, this is a) exactly what I needed to read and b) great writing and c) totally true! Totally right on! I read Devotion that you gave me on the plane and this is post is better than the book, for me.
Posted by: Jennifer Louden | 03/08/2010 at 12:41 PM
I cannot even begin to tell you how much I needed to read about your lesson today. I'm crying! It's about time I met myself where I am instead of waiting for things to be perfect! Thank you ever so much! xoxo
Posted by: Vickie from In My Head Studios | 03/08/2010 at 12:43 PM
Beautiful! Thanks for the reminder to focus on the moment.
Posted by: Fun Mama - Deanna | 03/08/2010 at 12:48 PM
Beautiful. Exactly right.
Posted by: Kary | 03/08/2010 at 01:54 PM
YES! It's such a wonderful word. Love the entry, Lain. Lots of lessons on the way to preschool.
Posted by: Lee | 03/08/2010 at 02:36 PM
A great post -- thanks for sharing this story. I am really going to try to be more of a "yes" Mom to my sweet five-and-three-quarters girl, saying yes to more experiences, before I am no longer in her top two choices for playmates.
Posted by: Laura | 03/08/2010 at 02:41 PM
Beautiful.
Posted by: kate | 03/08/2010 at 03:11 PM
Simply beautiful ... thanks for sharing!
Posted by: jen | 03/08/2010 at 05:10 PM
Terrific life lesson.
Posted by: sue | 03/08/2010 at 05:32 PM
I love entries like this, beautifully written, beautifully expressed. It's funny how so many of us have the same a-ha moments at relatively the same time, all across the world. I had a similar experience with a pair of swimming goggles and my son's homework. I've been really thinking about my answers lately, looking for reasons to say yes, even if it's not the perfect circumstance or even if it involves lots of clean up.
Oh, and thanks for the Labyrinth link!
Posted by: FuzzyCricket | 03/08/2010 at 09:21 PM
I love your story, Lain. I'm glad you got to share that experience with her. It's like that video posted on the Happiness Project blog, "The Years are Short."
Posted by: Barb | 03/08/2010 at 11:19 PM
beautiful.
Posted by: Maureen | 03/09/2010 at 08:15 AM
Very lovely post. Thank you.
(Visiting through the 30-Minute Challenge)
Posted by: MakingTime | 03/09/2010 at 09:25 AM
Wow Lain. This is beautiful.
Posted by: Ann | 03/09/2010 at 11:26 AM
Yay, I'm so happy you chose to take the walk. And you see... it was life-changing, transformative and special... maybe just not on the grand scale you imagined it might be :o)
Posted by: Kelli | 03/09/2010 at 03:33 PM
Great post - sometimes it is just right to do something with someone else even if they are short!!! Beautiful post!
Posted by: se7en | 03/09/2010 at 07:14 PM
Awesome post! Miss you already :(
Posted by: Katrina | 03/09/2010 at 07:56 PM
Your writing gives me goosebumps! I want to write like you! Thanks for the great reminder to live in the moment though and to let go - something I need to do more of
Posted by: Gab | 03/09/2010 at 09:50 PM
Wasn't finally getting into the labyrinth like starting a family? You plan for and dream of the perfect time to bring a child into the world...and before you know it you're a new mother with bills to pay and mouths to feed. There was no perfect time because there was no wrong time. It was good and it was meant to be, no matter what else was going on in our worlds.
Thanks for a beautiful post, Lain-
Margy
Posted by: Margy Eastman | 03/11/2010 at 02:19 AM
Wonderful post. I am similarly ambivalent about Labyrinths. I want to like them. Sometimes I like them. I probably like their symbolism more than their reality... and I liked your story better than walking it myself.
and thanks for visiting my post about Katrina.
Posted by: bryan farley | 03/11/2010 at 09:42 PM
following up on my previous post. this is as close as I get to labyrinths...and the next image.
http://www.photoshelter.com/c/bryanfarley/img-show/I0000gTNTIKVcvbY
thanks again for your advice.
bf
Posted by: bryan farley | 03/12/2010 at 03:09 PM