One of my readers, Kelli, commented that her family gives away 25% of their possessions every fall. Of course I was immediately intrigued and sent her five (!!) questions. Here are her very thoughtful answers on downsizing your possessions:
Here are my questions and Kelli's responses:
1. How and when did this tradition start?
I started purging as soon as I moved out of my parent's home. It was something my Mom had us do as children so it was easy for me to continue it.
2. How do you calculate what is 25%? Is it 25% of everything, or do they have to give away 25% of their shirts, 25% of their books, etc.?
Calculating about 25% can be tricky when you start, especially if you have a lot of stuff. For younger children, it's easy to have them set aside a specific number of toys to give away. You can scan their collection and provide a reasonable number.
For older children, such as my 14 year old, I give him several boxes and tell him they need to be filled with giveaway items. As he has gotten older and his treasures have gotten smaller (think video games vs. castle sets) the boxes have also gotten smaller.
For myself, I have a good idea of what I've collected over the past year and feel good about what I'm willing to part with. If you are just starting the process, it may be good to start with a specific category, such as books or clothes. I try to purge 25% of all my stuff because there are some categories I don't want to trim down, like books.
3. What has been the result of this process on your household, possessions-wise, and emotions-wise?
Emotionally it has been very positive in the end. There have been moments when one of my children didn't want to choose any of their beloved toys but then they are filled with pride when they see how happy they've made another person.
Possession-wise, it's hard for me to see if there is a difference. It's something I've done all my life and so I have nothing to compare it to.
4. What do you do with the belongings?
We give our items to local survival centers. My family was homeless a few years ago and several organizations (even those I had previously donated to, both materially and financially) wouldn't help us because before I lost my job I made enough to not be considered low-income. The local survival center helps anyone who asks and they provided us with food, clothing and accommodations. I'm happy I'm once again in a place to give back.
There have been moments when we selectively give items to someone specific. The past few months, my son's best friend has been coming to our house to type his schoolwork on one of our computers. We have several computers in the house and one wasn't being used very often so my son asked if he could give it to his friend. Granted, it's not part of the normally scheduled purging but we'll let it count come August :o)
5. Any hints on parting with possessions?
The best advice I have is to pack everything that you are going to give away into boxes and put them in your basement or attic. Then, a month later, actually get rid of the stuff. If you realize during that month that you cannot live without something that, in the excitement of purging you thought you could live without, then take it out of the box. This isn't about making you miserable and blindly getting rid of stuff. If you love it, keep it. If you don't, learn to live without it. If you can't, then perhaps you love it more then you thought :o)
Hope this helps!
And another quote I love related to the collection of stuff...
"No one goes to Hades with all their immense wealth"-Theognis
The best things in life aren't material and remembering what's really important to you can help you part with the stuff.
Thank you, Kelli, for your insightful and open-hearted comments. You have definitely inspired me to let go of more STUFF!
We recently moved to a smaller house and donated some items to the Salvation Army. If I were you, I'd let my kids see/meet the people who pick up your donations or take them with you if you drop the items off. The worker's thankful attitude will make a lasting impression on your children.
You've got a nice blog. It's my first visit!
Posted by: Tina | 01/13/2010 at 09:46 AM
Wow, what a generous thing to do! Thanks for sharing the actual "how-to"
Posted by: Gab | 01/15/2010 at 01:53 AM